And for a Friday….. feel sad with news of another impending divorce of a known young couple….. some thoughts….. some musings…..
Statistics can be misleading. India is counted amongst the least divorce rate countries in the World with just 1% as compared to 55% in France and 65% in Spain. Abroad, people are enamored by India’s low Divorce rates and ascribe it to our Arranged marriage system, caste system, joint families etc. etc. But these numbers hide the huge surge in divorces in Middle class urban India. Rural India still has a much tolerant society forced by the fear of societal shaming. Hence couples carry on regardless. But it’s changing.
In the USA, one in two marriages ends in Divorce. But the system of “At-fault” divorce and “No-Fault” divorce at least ensures an option of not having to fling unwanted accusations against each other. Sadly in India, I see lots of middle and upper middle classes couples separating / wanting to separate. Causes can be many and in such an intimate relationship, nobody is right or wrong. It’s the perceptions. Families and friends quickly align on either side of the divide. Divorce lawyers in India make it even more difficult – faults, misdeeds, infidelity, sexual incompatibility etc. etc. – half truths are blown up to double truths. As long as it is just the Man and Woman, who well within a year or two of marriage find they are not compatible and walk away, no problem. But after the kids come, the problem is huge and acute. The kids have to pay for the egos of the warring families.
Father doting over his married daughter or Mothers still clinging to their married sons, all have to show restraint. Move the young couple to a new home and let them sort out differences. Give them time. Let’s all support happiness in families. A happy family makes a stable society. Let’s make a better nation, the loving way, the caring way, the SEEGOS way.